glitterfitta

this is from an exchange between blackamazon and sadydoyle. the part i’m quoting was written by blackamazon, & it really, really resonated with me:

But what about teh points I asked , what about women which she is one, and what about how we respond to each other and how we frame our disagreements and responses to each other.

I cna understand not wanting to deal with her . I regularly tell people to shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down , because I have no interest in what they have to say

but you’ve infantalized her, and made statements about what she needs to expect feminism to be ( and I did not say silenced I did a word check for it)

[…]

To be is operating as a person who wants to set some terms and limits for feminism, because really your experiences lead you to have this line. That you are very comfortable saying are Undiscussable and unrefutable

And while i agree that feminism and safe space aren’t about lack of  I disagree HEARTILY about where Feminism should be a place without gender oppression

Because being a feminist doesnt give you a magic card where in you magically recover from teh YEARS and centuries and decades of CRAP about gender your given , it’s about getting teh tools to work through it

And the places we start from and what i wante dto knwo and what I may have been remiss in connecting to your post was

what happens when the places we start from are terrible places.

 where and when and hwo do we have the conversations that just aren’t about THAT GUY

what do we do when we are dealing with women who occupy spaces of oppressed and oppressor survivor and accomplice  WHILE protecting the women who are subject to their Stances and standards because unmoveable lines lack of sympathies

are stillr gid confining boxes and yep their good to have sometimes

but that woman who is a drama queen who is supporting the men still gets raped by them still deals her own self loathing for being raped for being vulnerable

and THAT BIT the place where we fix that and deal with that and that requires patience and flexibility that so many of us ME INCLUDED seem to not have to show or just won’t 

adn I keep seeing conversations about THAT GUY or MY INCREDIBLE STANCE AS NOT THAT GUY/GIRL

that we somehow still have faith can be improved but teh women who dissapoint us who show evidence of the damage the FEMINISM is supposed to work us through are discardable

and yes it’s tumblr or just tantrums but really in the world where women have to make these concessions this is what they got and if they are showing us teh things we calim to be fighting to stop by exposing thedamage we have said it causes how do we become equipped to deal with it

and if I was remiss in connecting this to you I apologize but this is more and more a part of our thinking because as you may have noticed we don’t have a lot of room to be throwing folks out

(via leonineantiheroine)